A Tribute to Ron Gray...

Ron and Dorothy Gray at the time I first met them

On September 16, 2007, I wrote an entry in this blog describing a visit to the home of Ron and Dorothy Gray in Bridgehampton, NY.  Later, in February of 2008, I wrote of a visit that Mary Ann and I made to Ron and Dorothy's home while Mary Ann spent a weekend with me in Connecticut.  My friendship with the Grays started when the Navy sent me to Groton, Connecticut, as Engineering Officer of the USS Maloy (DE-791), the last World War II era Buckley-class Destroyer Escort.  Ron Gray was the other half of the engineering department, the Damage Control Assistant.  We were also "roommates" in a tiny 10 ft. by 12 ft. stateroom in which he had the upper bunk and I, the lower.  It's fortunate that we really hit it off and became close friends.

Ron left the navy after we decommissioned the Maloy in 1965 and he and Dorothy and their daughter, Kristin, returned to Long Island.  There, he built a successful contracting and home construction business, Graystone Builders, Inc., in Bridgehampton, NY.

Ron describing some of the features of a home he had built
during my visit in 2007

One of many magnificent homes built by Graystone Builders, Inc.

I was fortunate enough to see some of the homes that he and Dorothy built.  They will remain as a lasting tribute to Ron.  Dorothy called yesterday to let me know that he passed away earlier this month.  He had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease a few years ago and had suffered greatly.

Even though I hadn't seen Ron regularly for many years since we established our friendship, he had a strong influence on me.  From the moment I made his acquaintance in the close confines of a small combatant ship, three things were evident:

• Ron was loyal to a fault.  He never once to my knowledge failed in that trait.  He loved his country, navy ship, crew, family, friends with an undying passion.
• Ron Gray took immense pride in his work.  He was a perfectionist.  He demanded that same attitude from his subordinates.  Sloppy work was not tolerated.
• He was unflappable.  As Damage Control Assistant, Ron was responsible for firefighting and de-flooding, among other things.  When we ran drills or had actual incidents, Ron remained outwardly calm in the presence of danger and turmoil.
• He listened.  More than once, I noticed that he spent much more time eliciting information from others rather than dominating a conversation.  That's a very powerful personal trait.

I learned a lot from Ron and hopefully will not forget the lessons he shared with me.  Rest in peace, my Friend.  And may God comfort Dorothy and Kristin as they move on without your strong presence.